Ember's Porta Potty

Andrew, Bob, and I had gone back to South Dakota for a weekend. Bob went to see his family while Andrew and I had Amanda's and Tony's graduation to attend to. We headed back for Chicago Sunday night, a lot later than we expected. We had been on the road for a few hours at least when I decided we needed to stop at one of the rest stops to see if Ember needed to use the bathroom. Now, I had been impressed with her for the whole trip. She was a delight to bring along, despite our hesitation to take her (but after the Raisinet incident, we decided she was too young to trust by herself). For a second time that day (the first time was when I was packing up Ember's things and only had the litterbox left to pack) I pulled out her travel litterbox and told her she needed to go. She climbed into the box like a good girl and provided a small spot of wet litter for my inspection. I praised her and packed up the box while she looked around outside. To my dismay, she had gone UNDER the car and came back out with oil on her back. Great.

I took her inside the rest stop and tried my best to get the oil off with water and soap. Let me tell you, she didn't smell pleasant anymore. Not to mention the spots of dirty gray on her normally white puffy fur. I just hoped she didn't get sick trying to clean it off herself. We all loaded back up into the car, with me driving again. We were hardly on the road five minutes when Ember suddenly went loco. She started to run around the car like her tail was on fire. Over my lap and under my feet (which she got scolded for, since I was driving) over Andrew's lap, on the dash, in the backseat with Bob, and back into my lap. The guys asked me what her problem was and I just shrugged, figuring she just needed to get settled. Which she did, on my lap. Andrew watched her and asked "What is she doing....Is she...???" When I suddenly felt something warm and unpleasant on my lap. I pulled up on her tail where I discovered exactly WHAT her problem was. I supposedly didn't give Ember enough time to use the bathroom. And she had to go, NOW. I tried to shake her, still holding onto her tail to make her stop. I guess when you're in full blown bathroom mode, you can't stop. I put down her tail and continued to let her use me as her bathroom while I laughed with Andrew and Bob. Next came the smell. All of a sudden the car smelled HORRIBLE and all of us gagged while we laughed. Bob wanted to take a picture of the huge pile Ember put in my lap but I refused to allow that kind of evidence of the event.

I put my flashers on and pulled onto the side of the road. Luckily (again, ha) she had put a mostly solid load on my pants so I could just stand up outside of the car and let it drop off my pants. Mostly solid. One part of it was very much not solid and I was forced to spray myself with car spice for the next 10 miles or so I had to drive before I could pull into a gas station to change pants. Of course, after that Ember was very nice to me. Wanting to sit in my lap and kiss and purr. Nice. See how nice of a mommy I am? I let my kid poop on me. You can imagine that the rest of the ride home all of us were paranoid whenever she crawled into our laps.