Communication and Relationships

(If while reading this paper you think to yourself, wth? Remember, I've been out of school for a year now and I'm bored out of my mind. )

Why does the world find communication such a hurdle to get across? There are hundreds of languages across the nations and yet we still struggle with discussing our needs and emotions to others. This point seems to be true in many different relationships. Anywhere from issues between family, couples, co-workers, therapists and the list goes on. Sometimes there is even an issue communicating with ourselves what we feel and need. Perhaps that is why there are so many different ways to communicate. We hope to find the right combination of words, facial expressions, gestures, and body language to finally depict whatever it is we are feeling at that specific moment.

Why do people mask their varied emotions with a general façade of pleasantness? While no one wants to deal with person who is the essence of unpleasantness, society would rather not deal with the mess that is the base of emotions. If you are sad, tear up. If you are impatient, respond with some snap. If you are excited, jump around and hug everyone. No, society would rather have the generic and indifferent smile or polite nod of acknowledgement than actually confront whatever feeling happens to be present. Perhaps it’s because these actions cause a reaction in the general public. If a person were to tear up you may feel sympathy or discomfort. If a person were to be impatient you may feel irritation or anger. If a person were to randomly hug you, you may feel amusement or unease.

In the specific case of couples and communication the verdict doesn’t seem to be much different. Rather than hash out any problems and deal with a myriad of emotions, couples tend to either ignore any issues they may have, bow out of the relationship, or both. That isn’t to say that couples don’t get into arguments or burst into uncontrollable tears at the slightest comment. Merely that instead of sitting down and discussing the real problem and working to fix it, they dance around it and oddly put more work into covering up the problem or stirring up even more feelings by ignoring it. Eventually one or both of the parties gets fed up and leaves the relationship to find an easier source for their wants and needs (see Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs to get a basic idea).

I had written a hypothetical situation between a boy and a girl and the choices they may have used to deal with issues including the probable outcomes (based off of other relationships I’ve witnessed) but I have left it out feeling it may have been a little off subject. I hope you enjoyed my ramblings on communications and relationships. You are free to leave comments or other topic ideas.